I told the facilitator that I’d tack on a few more weeks of low-key relaxation afterward. Seemed sufficient for an entrepreneur with burnout. She looked at me intensely from the white leather couch, making me feel a bit uneasy. “Your masculine energy is overpowering your feminine, throwing you off balance.” Yeah, yeah. “If you keep pushing like this, I guarantee burnout number four will inevitably arrive,” she continued sternly.

That hit home. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, forming thick droplets that fell into my liquorice root tea. When I founded my business 11 years ago, I was in flow. Everything came effortlessly. I drew energy from everything I did and just kept working, even as a mother of a toddler. That part-time work and school-run mom stuff wasn’t for me. I loved being free, deciding whether to work from home and what time to start. Just add a dash of motivation and go. Seemed easy enough to combine until life’s setbacks made my energy dwindle. I’d lost my way.

Yoga offered a solution. Not that woo-woo, I’m-on-my-mat-and-feel-the-earth-beneath-me yoga. A power woman like me sought a testosterone-fueled variant; enter Bikram Yoga. 90 minutes of sweating in a 40°C room – a mental and physical challenge all at once. It was addictive. I even participated in extra training for the Dutch Yoga Championships.

Lately, I’d been feeling that my passion no longer lay with my business. But what did I want instead? Compete with the ever-growing number of yoga instructors? Nah, something combining yoga and entrepreneurship, perhaps? But wasn’t that like trying to knead zen and stress into a single clay ball?

In the Schouw, I realised I needed to give my feminine energy space. During a tantra breath session in a warm water bath (yes, I love warmth), I relearned to truly listen to my intuition. Reborn, I returned, ready to make tough decisions. I knew I had to follow my yoga path. In India, the land of my ancestors. My roots have been tugging at me for a while now, the cord growing tighter. Soon, I’ll leave my men behind for 10 weeks. That’s possible because I’ve sold my business. The crumpled paper is now mostly smooth, feeling softer, and that’s okay.

A blast from the past: This article was originally written in June 2017, on the cusp of a transformative career shift that led me to where I am today – living, breathing, and sharing my passion for yoga.